


Kill Us All

by thesetearsthatfall



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Angst, Crack, Drabble, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Harry and draco juul, Humor, M/M, POV Draco Malfoy, Partying, Pining Draco Malfoy, TikTok, harry potter is an eboy, mint juul pods, this is a joke i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-18 07:43:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21690892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesetearsthatfall/pseuds/thesetearsthatfall
Summary: a drabble in which Harry is an e-boy and Draco has never heard of tiktok.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Pansy Parkinson/Blaise Zabini
Comments: 7
Kudos: 44





	Kill Us All

**Author's Note:**

> this started as a joke and then i got invested and then i gave up at the end.... have fun i guess

“Dude, pass me the juul,” Draco yelled. The music pounded loudly in Draco’s ears, the lights flashing red and blue. Blaise was temporarily dyed blue as he handed the juul to Draco. “No need to yell, dude. I’m right next to you,” Blaise yelled back. 

Draco ignored him and took a hit on the juul, inhaling deeply. Pansy had switched the pod flavor to something fucking _fruity_ , and Draco grimaced as he exhaled, a long stream of smoke streaming out. The mint pods were, in his opinion, the best flavor. Draco made a mental note to switch the pods later when Pansy herself plopped onto the couch, side pressed up against Draco’s. Her eyes seemed to shimmer as she regarded the boys huddled together on the couch. “Aww, boys, not having fun?” she pouted. 

Draco felt Blaise shift beside him. “I'm looking for some pussy to smash,” he answered. Pansy laughed. “And how’s that going for you?” 

Blaise scowled. “The bitches here suck. They’re missing out on the best fucking time of their lives,” he puffed out his chest. Draco rolled his eyes and took another hit on the juul. Merlin save him. 

Pansy fixed her gaze on Blaise, eyes growing dark. Draco suppressed a groan. He knew that look all too well. 

Pansy uncrossed her legs seductively, eyes never leaving Blaise’s. She leaned forward, pushing her chest up, Blaise getting an eyeful of her titties. She bit her lip. “You know you always have me, darling.” she purred. 

Draco deeply regretted every single decision he had ever made that had brought him to this moment. He hastily jumped up and stuck the juul in his pocket. “I'm going to... er- get another drink,” Draco ground out, hurriedly turning and fleeing towards the kitchen, not glancing back to see if they heard him.

He shoved through the crowd, muttering a few _sorry’s_ here and there until he entered the kitchen. Luckily, it wasn't too crowded, and Draco ran a hand through his hair, exhaling softly. He poured himself a drink, not bothering to read the label on the bottle. He lifted the glass to his lips and was about to take a well-deserved drink when someone slammed into his side. Cursing, Draco dropped the drink, the glass shattering into a million tiny pieces on the ground. He spun around, coming face-to-face with a boy who seemed to be Draco’s age. He had black, messy hair, and bright green eyes hidden behind thin, silver glasses. He was wearing an oversized black hoodie and he had several chains looped around his neck. A silver cross earring dangled from the boy’s ear. He had only one earring on. _How quirky_ , Draco thought snidely. 

The boy glared at Draco and yelled, “Bro, you fucking ruined my TikTok!” 

Draco fought off an annoyed frown. “I’m sorry,” he said, “I ruined your _what?_ ”

The boy’s brow furrowed. “You know. _TikTok_. The app is basically Vine 2. Hey, you should totally be in my TikTok!” 

_The fuck?_ “No, I will absolutely _not_ be in your _Tik Clock-“_

 _“_ TikTok-"

 _“-_ And, you made me spill my drink.” Draco finished with a scowl. He gestured to the mess on the ground. “This here? Yeah, that’s your fault, _bro_.” 

The boy gave a sheepish smile. “Sorry about that, man. But, hey, I got hella followers on TikTok. If you feature in my video you’ll get hella clout. My username is 'lilharry'. You've probably heard of me.” He flashed a smile, and Draco’s knees felt weak. He had a weakness for boys with green eyes and pretty smiles. “So, you in?” he asked. He flashed a smile again.

Draco found himself nodding, and silently cursed himself. _Damn my weakness for green eyes._

 _“_ Great!” He said. “My names Harry, by the way. Harry Potter.”

Draco nodded. “Draco Malfoy.”

Harry gave Draco a strange look. “ _Draco?_ Your parents must really hate you, huh?”

“Excuse me?” Draco huffed. “Draco is a completely fine name!”

“Sure, man.” Leaving the conversation at that, Harry grabbed Draco’s hand, and led him through the crowd. They went upstairs, and Harry knocked on a couple doors before they found one that was empty.

Harry closed and locked the door and Draco suddenly felt nervous. He was alone with a cute boy. A cute boy who had bright green eyes and messy hair and-

Draco mentally shook himself. “Get it together!” he mumbled to himself.

“Huh?” Harry asked, turning around to shoot Draco a curious look. “You aren’t gonna like, kill me, are you? ‘Cus, listen, you’re cute and all, but I don't wanna die.”

Cute? Did he just call Draco _cute?_ “Did you just call me cute?” Draco spluttered. He felt his face flush. 

Harry laughed. “Come here. I got the app set up. Let's make a TikTok!”

-

An hour later, Draco had successfully made his first TikTok. Turns out, it's just an app where kids film themselves lip-syncing to songs. 

“You should make one. You know, a TikTok account.” Harry said, eyeing Draco up and down. “You would _kill_ as an e-boy.” 

Draco was afraid to ask what _that_ meant, so he just smiled and mumbled, “yeah, maybe.”

Harry stepped in front of Draco and flashed a lopsided smile. “I posted the video! Everyone’s gonna love it, no cap.” 

“Great!” Draco exclaimed. He suddenly felt horribly awkward. Avoiding Harry’s bright green gaze, he fixed his eyes on his feet and shoved his hands in his pockets. 

Harry huffed a small laugh. “There’s no need to be nervous. I don’t bite. Well, unless you want me too.”

Draco laughed, and fixed his gaze on Harry’s. “You’re cute.” He said. 

Harry winked. “I know. So are you. Wanna hang?” He dug around in his pockets and pulled out a juul, similar to the one Draco has. “I have mint pods!”

Draco grinned. “As you should. The fruity flavors fuckin’ suck.”

“Damn straight!”

They grinned at each other, and all thoughts of awkwardness left Draco as he accepted Harry’s juul and took a hit. He could have just used his own, but Draco wanted to put his lips on something Harry’s lips had touched. He decided that did not make him a creep, just that he had an appreciation for pretty boys with green eyes. 

-

After dis they fell in love!!! And then Harry died of a nicotine addiction, and Draco was so distraught that he started National E-Boy day to honor his e-boy soulmate mr harry james potter thank u for reading

**Author's Note:**

> arguably my best work


End file.
